1932: York Barbell Company pioneers the mass production of barbells and brings physical culture into the mainstream.
1954: The USSR's Weightlifting team dominates the Olympics after incorporating anabolic steroids into their training regimen.
2015: Young women discover they can earn a living posting videos of themselves performing glute bridges and hip thrusts on social media.
The Present:
None of these can can compare to the landmark event we are about to witness.
2022: The birth of Crystal Pump, an elixir so potent it simply cannot just be labeled a "preworkout". Formulated from the highest quality ingredients and designed to maximize performance in every aspect. Skin splitting pumps, infinite energy, laser-like focus, increased male vitality; all contained within a single scoop.
The Solution:
Gone are the days of washing down Guatemalan mail-order ADHD medication and gas station d*ck pills with an energy drink just to drag yourself to the gym to go through the motions during an uninspired workout. 1 serving of Crystal Pump will give you the mental clarity of a chess grandmaster, the vascularity and muscular fullness of an IFBB pro, the sexual vitality of the average man before they fluoridated public water supplies and the boundless energy of a mall kiosk worker harassing women with lotion samples. Crystal Pump, the pinnacle* of fitness supplementation.
<div class="dynamic-checkout__content" id="dynamic-checkout-cart" data-shopify="dynamic-checkout-cart"> <shopify-accelerated-checkout-cart wallet-configs="[{"name":"shop_pay","wallet_params":{"shopId":55861510273,"merchantName":"Crystal Pump"}},{"name":"paypal","wallet_params":{"shopId":55861510273,"countryCode":"US","merchantName":"Crystal Pump","phoneRequired":false,"companyRequired":false,"shippingType":"shipping","shopifyPaymentsEnabled":true,"hasManagedSellingPlanState":null,"merchantId":"VGT4CKP3SETAE","sdkUrl":"https://www.paypal.com/sdk/js?components=buttons\u0026commit=false\u0026currency=USD\u0026locale=en_US\u0026client-id=AfUEYT7nO4BwZQERn9Vym5TbHAG08ptiKa9gm8OARBYgoqiAJIjllRjeIMI4g294KAH1JdTnkzubt1fr\u0026merchant-id=VGT4CKP3SETAE\u0026intent=authorize"}}]" access-token="4a87e2c6d359399fa11aee2f533751f9" buyer-country="US" buyer-locale="en" buyer-currency="USD" shop-id="55861510273" cart-id="6c34d2b9d3e45e093d7f51fdebbf17f1" > <div data-shopify-buttoncontainer="true"> <ul class='wallet-cart-grid wallet-cart-grid--skeleton' role="list"> <li data-testid='grid-cell' class='wallet-cart-button-container'><div class='wallet-cart-button wallet-cart-button__skeleton' role='button' disabled aria-hidden='true'> </div></li><li data-testid='grid-cell' class='wallet-cart-button-container'><div class='wallet-cart-button wallet-cart-button__skeleton' role='button' disabled aria-hidden='true'> </div></li> </ul> </div> </shopify-accelerated-checkout-cart> <small id="shopify-buyer-consent" class="hidden" aria-hidden="true"> One or more of the items in your cart is a recurring or deferred purchase. By continuing, I agree to the <span id="shopify-subscription-policy-button">cancellation policy</span> and authorize you to charge my payment method at the prices, frequency and dates listed on this page until my order is fulfilled or I cancel, if permitted. </small> </div>
Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
